Day 5- DFO

Patients waiting to be seen at DFO by Amanda and I, More are waiting outside
Baby with 2 club feet... This can only be corrected surgically by braking both feet and realigning them.

16 Year Old Girl

Little Boy with cut to the bone

15 Year old boy

Today Amanda and I were assigned to the DFO (Daycare Fake Orphanage). I was excited to go back and see all the kids from the previous day. Jamie who was helping with the business side of PID decided to go with us for the fun of seeing all the kids and Chip our photographer taged along as well. However with this being a traveling station and not a clinic we first needed to stop at Blanchard and pack up supplies and medicine to take with us. We filled a suitcase and two boxes of things we might have needed and headed out. As we began to pull into the village and up to the tent we saw hundreds of children waiting for us, we quickly unloaded and set up our "pharmacy" the suitcase and boxes on their stage infront of the tent. Everyone seemed excited that we were there and began to sing in praise. They started pushing us to the front and had us sit facing them as they continued in song. But we were quickly faced with our first emergency, 2 men came carrying in a 15 year old boy half unconcious. They brought him up to Amanda and I where we immediately rushed to the boy trying to back people up, we were way overcrowded. As soon as I touched him I knew his fever was high. We were able to get a cot and I helped carry him to the back of the stage where we layed him down and got a temp of 105. Amanda was able to start an IV as I was trying to get meds down him, We high fived each other for the small victory of doing all that we could for the time being even though he wasnt out of the woods yet. Suddenly reality set back in as I turned and remembered the hundreds of others waiting to be seen. Jamie soon went from business to pharmacist as we did our best to set up meds and make a clinic. My first patient was a little boy whoes toe was cut so deep I could see the bone. He was screaming as I held him while trying to clean the wound and attach as much of the toe back as I could while wrapping it up. None of the kids wore diapers and I was completly drenched with urine by the end of the day starting with this young boy. Next I had a girl who had such a bad infection that half of her face was swollen and she became blind in one eye. Next was a girl who had broken her leg in the quake and it had not healed correctly as you could see the bone poking against the inside of her skin, along with a baby who had club feet to both legs. Etc. Between the two of us we saw 110 patients that day as we continued to go back and forth between our patients and the 15 year old boy. At the end of the day we ended up having to shut our doors turning hundreds of people away. As you shut the doors at the end of the day you know fights are going to start breaking out and so you always have that fear of the saftey of those outside as you hear the screaming and arguing, this was the hardest part of the day for me even though I was completly drained by this time because I knew of the need left and was always worried about that one emergency that may be left out there. However we are going back fri and sat so we began to pack up. We had kept the 15 year old boy there the entire day for the fact that he continued to vomit bright green with his fever going past 105. We had sent the translators out to find ice and started pouring bottles of water on top of him, as they returned with the ice and we started packing it on him we heard the scream of a 16 year old girl. At first when they carried her in I thought she was injured the way she had been crying but when we layed her down and took her temp it was at 102 and she was shaking uncontrolably. Everyone around us started saying repeatidly that she had typhoid which I was not exactly sure of the signs and symptoms of typhoid nor sure how we were going to treat it. So we started an IV on her and began to throw ice on her as well. We had no choice but to call a PA on our team who came rushing over to DFO to help. We spent what it seemed like hours on these two patients before the 15 year old boy was ready and able to go home however the 16 year old girl's temp had climbed to 106 so we made the decision to take her over to Doctors Without Boarders who took her in. I didnt realize how big of a problem finding a hospital for our most critical patients was going to be and later realized how big of a blessing it was that we were able to get her in. Tonight we had ice as a blessing and I was able to eat PB for lunch along with rice for dinner. Its raining as I sit in my tent tonight and the only blessing about that is knowing there will be less gunfire.

Day 4

While at the DFO clinic

While at the DFO Clinic

Children at the DFO Clinic

Last Night we had more Gunfire. I so often take for granted the blessings of things such as safety as I try to sleep at night, no longer will I forget these awaken nights as my heart often beats fast as the thoughts of bullets going through my tent fill my mind. I am finally able to fall asleep to wake up wondering how many people died last night. Today I am suppose to be going with Gale, the president of PID, to check out an orphanage of 500 children with disabilities. However we first stop at the Blanchard clinic where hundreds of patients are waiting to be seen by the little team we have. They wait hours and hours just to be seen for maybe 5 minutes and are usually prescribed something as simple as tylenol, my heart breaks for each one and each time we have to shut the doors. This morning I decided while I was waiting for Gale to leave for the orphanage I would go out and help the boys with the construction. Volunteering with the help of construction was this boy named Omario. Omario was 14 years old. His father was robbed and killed when he was 11 years old and his mother was just killed in the quake. His mother had identification on her and so when they found her body they called Omario and told him that his mother was killed. He never saw his mother again, they had taken her straight to the mass grave. He now lives alone, his school was destroyed in the quake and so he no longer attends, he takes care of himself with no one looking after him. Omario comes everyday to help out and is great to get to know. My hands soon fill up with blisters from the shovel and as I look up at the team trying to get through all the patients my stomach fills up with the guilt that I am not helping. Feelings of inadequacy tear up my heart and I am wondering what I am doing here. Around noon we were ready to head out to the orphanage and I quickly realize I have missed lunch. As we pull up to the village where the orphanage is held we were lead to a tent that was made to become their church and I am given a clearer understanding of the definition of church being the body of Christ. As we enter there are about 500 children however we quickly learn that not all of these children are orphans and hardly any have disabilities but we do agree to come out during the next several weeks and help them. I believe its more of a daycare and we begin to call it DFO (Daycare Fake Orphanage). I enjoy my short time with the children infact one falls asleep in my arms and I continuously pray for God's presence for what seems to be a small tent once all the people have gathered under. We let them know the days we will be arriving and leave heading next to what Gale calls the "pharmacy". I am starting to get better about my directions in Haiti and see that we are heading back to the center of down town Port-Au-Prince. Our driver suddenly pulls to the side of the street where rubble surrounds us on all sides, and in seconds swarms of people with all sorts of medicine surround our car. Hands full of medicine come through and fill up our windows as men are pushing and shoving trying to show us the products they have, It was complete Chaos and I was afraid that a fight was going to break out. I jumped in the back of the blazer and began sorting through the list and what we were buying and what we needed left. Some how we made it through the most unorganized mess, I felt like I was at the hottest auction of my life with sweat pouring off of me and my mind racing with the budget and products. Once we finished and ran some other errands it was time to go back and pick up our team at Blanchard. We are done for the day and I feel like I have not accomplished much and that my day was almost a waist, but tomorrow I am ready to head back to DFO and start seeing patients. As we arrive back at our tent site I was drained, I had no dinner and going a day without eating has worn on me and so I go to bed early tonight in hopes to fall asleep forgetting about how hungry I am.

Day 3 - Sabbath

The church we went to before heading to the beach...

The Caribbean Ocean

Tent City right as we leave town.... Sign says We Need Help.

Today was Sunday, the day of rest. After yesterday I already felt like I needed it. There is so much to take in. We got around pretty late this morning and left at about 8:30, we were on our way to church. On our way out there we passed tent cities and the worst one we had seen yet. Each tent city has a leader and depending on the leader's ability will depend on how well the people in that tent city will do however some tent cities do not have a leader or are fighting about who the leader is and they seem to be doing worse. This tent city did not have a leader and so was not being provided food or water. Its alot like tribes and with Haiti not having their government to help them out Im afraid the division among the people is just going to get worse. Along the way we also passed the Mass Grave, Its marked with only one symbol that represents the resting place of 250,000 people. You can see the mounds of dirt they had piled on top of the dead, one pile after another and above all the symbol they had decided to place for those who have gone before us is a cross. I thought there is no other symbol more important than that one. As you continue to drive down the road a little ways you start to get this horrible smell, Our team called it Zombie swamp. Zombies in Haiti are very real and are still practiced today. If someone becomes too rich or annoying than the family or whoever can pay the Voodoo priest to preform this ritual, A man from Harvard named Wane Davis went to Haiti to study this process and best describes it like this..."The bokor creates a highly toxic mixture that includes poisonous plants and animals. Dumbcane is added because it harms the larynx, making breathing difficult and vocalizations impossible.The poison is mixed with food to be ingested or placed over an open wound to ensure it gets absorbed into the victim’s bloodstream. The person will lapse into a deep coma-like state so life cannot be detected, then buried before being “resurrected” by the bokor. The victim is aware of what is happening, but cannot react. The zombie is “resurrected” by being force-fed a mixture of sweet potatoes, sugar cane and Datura stramonium, referred to as zombie’s cucumber. The potion causes disorientation and hallucinations. The bokor gives the zombie a new name and a new life. Confused, the victim follows and totally obeys the bokor and his or her new master. There’s no antidote for the potions and zombies require little food. Salt is withheld because it’s believed that it can bring back the ability to speak and taste. Voodoo beliefs play an important role." For the shorter version, People are poisoned than buried alive in "Zombie swamp" than unburried the next day only to be taken back to the village in order to be slaved and worked to death, they are given very little to eat and live only about a couple of years after this incident. Voodoo influences the whole country no matter your religion, its something we had to face almost everyday. I could not help but to think about those who were alive underground as we passed, my heart ached for those we could not see but God could. He knew and was with each one of them personally. We continued on and finally made our journey to this little church in Achai. Although It was not very big, the people's hearts were Huge. And even though we could not understand the sermon it still refreshed my soul especially interacting with all the children. After church we headed to the beach and was able to swim in the Caribbean ocean. I could not believe such destruction and such beauty were on the same camera! I at first had mixed emotions, I didnt come here to enjoy my time at the beach while others were about 30 min away suffering, but after walking down the shore I quickly was able to enjoy my time but was definitely ready to get back to work. We arrived back at the tents and had our meeting, tonight's blessing ICE!!! Tomorrow I am going to an orphanage with 500 children with disabilities, I look forward to being in my comfort zone...... We have had a couple of aftershocks while being here so far, I quickly understand why everyone lives outdoors.

Day 2

Rubble everywhere

The presidential palace

We saw this imagine several times spray painted through out Haiti

Church downtown, It looks destroyed but as you drive by you can see they still gather and worship inside what is left

Last night I did not sleep well but got up around 6 this morning and started getting ready for the day. Jeanne and I were the first dropped off at our satellite clinic in Bon Repo. We set up our pharmacy and began to see patients, we both had our own translators. Today was only a half day but between the two of us from 9am to 2pm we saw 110 patients. We were very busy, I saw things from Staph to high fevers. I am very nervous about seeing patients for the fact that I do not know enough medically to make confident decisions and am glad tomorrow is our sabbath day off. I learned alot of things today such as the difficulties we are going to face in trying to take patients to the hospital. Alot of hospitals are shutting down and the general hospitals are too expenisve. If you go to a general hospital the only thing free is the bed and a dr. to look at you otherwise you have to pay for sheets, pillows, food, and anything that you use or may need. I hope we do not have to face an emergency situation where we have to try to get a patient into the hospital but I have a feeling we will be facing alot of that. After work we went through downtown Port-Au-Prince. They say about 70% was destroyed from the quake but it looks so much more than that, we are able to get out at the presidental palace. Most of the rubble is still there and whatever rubble they have removed is being tossed in the ocean. Its hard not to think about the bodies still trapped underneath. Trash is everywhere piled up in the streets and pigs are the animal I see the most. As you drive down the street you randomly see people going to the bathroom and children bathing in the filthy streams. I am in shock with the unsanatary conditions and cant imagine the diseases that will arise because of it. When we get back from our adventure through downtown we have some rice and our meeting. I am very tired tonight, the heat is beginning to get to me however as I sit here and listen to my music I begin to hear the rain beating against my tent. I foresee another sleepless night as I begin to think about those living out on the streets and the shelters that will not hold up during the night. I begin to think about the children who are given alcohol as a sleep aid and the amount of people who have not eaten in days. The suffering I've witnessed today is nothing I have ever experienced before but I know that God has not turned his back on Haiti.

Day 1 Arrival

The view from our tent onto the back field

My tent is the green one to the very left....

This morning I woke up and took my final hot shower at the Miami hotel. I was worried about time so I decided to wait and eat until I got into the airport. When I finally found my gate the only thing I saw was a pizza hut so I had a small personal size pizza and a Dr. Pepper. I had some time to kill so I called my friend Megan and my mom. Next thing I know they are loading the plane so I stuff my pizza and took my drink onto the plane (First Huge Blessing, Only bottle I had to hold water in for days and only food I had until late night) I loaded onto the plane unsure of who my members of the team were but I had yet to worry. The plane ride was amazing I didnt realize just how clear the Ocean is and to watch the beauty of Haiti as you fly above is incredible. However as you land you begin to see the destruction everywhere and see the true heart of it all. As we landed and I was lead out, I could no longer understand anyone, there was a huge language barrier so I just began to walk knowing I first needed to get my luggage so I wasnt worried yet. I think mostly because I could see 2 huge planes that said United States of America written on the side so that brought me comfort. So I decided to follow the crowd which lead me onto a bus that took us to another part of the airport. When I walk in all I see is hundreds of suitcases and luggage stacked in the middle of the room, I was no longer in America and I immediatly wanted to organize the system. I had 50lbs I was already carrying and another 80lbs of luggage somewhere in the middle of the room in a huge pile that everyone is climbing on top of and digging through. I search and search and climb and sweat and push and finally find 1 of my bags, I fall to it and begin my massive search for the next bag which seemed like forever before I was able to get both bags in hand. As I turn towards the exit which is right behind me I begin to get nervous, I still dont know who my team members are. As I make my way through the exit the only thing between me and the city is a gate where a massive amount of people are surrounding the outside of it as the people behind me are pushing me closer trying to make their way out however I refuse to go through the gate into the city without knowing who I am suppose to be with so I begin to back up searching for any sign, finally there it was, a man holding up PID. He grabs my things as we head out into the city and I meet my first team member Jeanne, a retired Army RN and EMS Director. She leads me to a small red blazer and we are off to our main clinic in Blanchard. As I am looking through the window I am in absolute shock at what I am seeing, I soon realize that everyone lives outside even if they have a home they are too afraid to stay in it. My car would not have made it through all the rubble we had to drive over to get to the clinic however we finally make it and I begin to unload all my medical supplies when I meet a girl named Marcie who speaks some english. She immediatly begins teaching me the language creole, the language barrier was going to make things a huge challenge. I was soon able to see how the clinic worked and immediatly realized I would be seeing my own patients. Are they Crazy came to my mind. It was very overwhelming so I decided to take a breather and walk around the clinic where I met a little boy who the only thing he could say in english was the chorus to Amazing Grace, it was a blessing. As soon as he was finished we left and headed for our sleeping destination. When we arrived I began setting up my tent. I had noticed a boy (learning later his name is Samuel, he had a horrible eye injury from the quake ) was watching me. Even though we couldnt understand each other he could see I was struggling and came over to help me put it up. About an hour after we finished the rest of the team showed up, they were on a different flight. They got settled in and we began our nightly meeting, which was a blessing that every night we would sit and debrief about the day. We were told about past patients, One being a 16 yr old girl whoes parents thought she was pregnant so they were beating her, they just couldnt afford another mouth to feed. Well turns out she had a massive tumor wrapped around her kindneys, infact shes never had sex before. There was another woman who had cancer that they told her she would die from it because in Haiti there is no treatment for cancer and she simply smiled and said "Thats ok, I just came here to get soap for my son" and the stories go on and on. After we all debreif than we go over our schedule for the next day which tomorrow I work at a satillite clinic at Bon Repo with Jeanne. Its Saturday so we will only work 1/2 day until 2pm. I am beyond nervous! We than had dinner, rice... My huge blessing for today, I was able to email Megan and Chelle, Now sitting in my tent listening to music as it begins to rain........

Preparation to Haiti

It seems in life everyone experiences moments that cause complete confusion where we begin to ponder and ask quesitons only God can answer no matter the era we were born we experince moments that completly shock the nation and whatever we were doing tends to freeze in time and in memory, moments that we will never forget, moments where people are engaged to take a closer examination into the time they have left and what they are filling it with. People begin to look deeper into their own lives and start to pick and choose what is important to them and what they want to get rid of such as their values, goals, careers, and the people they surround themselves with. During these moments people tend to sort through their lives and in the midst of it search for what brings them comfort, safety, and joy. Most tend to find that in God. We are natrually brought closer to Him and others around us in times of fear. I remember September 11, 2001, just saying the date and everyone knows what I am talking about. I was a sophmore in high school and at that time in U.S. History class. I was so ditached I couldnt cry but yet so envolved it comsumed my life during the next few weeks and changed it forever expecially when the war took the life of a good friend. I couldnt believe that the same exact second I was sitting in class the world around me seemed to be falling apart and thousands were suffering. However as these moments pass and tend to fade so does our examination into what really matters to us in our lives and we begin to let our guard down and we start to fill our lives back up with the "Junk" we had just cleaned out and got rid of and we again forget the values of one another. But what makes these moments so different than the rest of the tragedies I witness on the news and in the paper everyday? People did not have the same reaction when they read todays top headline "Wrong-Way crash kills 4 on Kansas Turnpike" They wont remember this headline or what they were doing a year from now when they read it in the paper so what makes one life more important than another just because they are surrounded by thousands of others? Its like we have to have a major tragedy to get our attention, we are so immuned to the everyday deaths. Yes the bigger tragidies remind us that we are not promised tomorrow but why do we live like "Tomorrows another day". January 12, 2010 is another reminder of the tragedy that struck millions. Over 250,000 killed and death did not skip a generation. Death does not discriminate or show mercy to your age or religion, sex, or race. And on this Tuesday in Haiti it touched every life whether death hit them directly or indirectly. I was anxious to do everything I could to get to Haiti to help, I wrote to several organizations and am currently getting closer from knowing these people from just being numbers into them being names. I have a week before my depature and my eagarness to go has turned into fear. My desire has turned into selfish thoughts, I work 2 jobs, will go days without sleep and for 2 weeks of my only vacation time this year I am putting myself into an even more tiring situation, my thoughts are selfish in wanting to just stay home and relax. But as I am packing for Haiti and read an email from the director of my organization that sadly describes what living in the streets has been like..." It is raining tonight and I am in my tent. I am thinking about the story Tali relayed to us about what it is like to sleep in the street at her in-laws. The road has to be blocked off. No one can go to sleep because they have to wait for the traffic to be finished. Then it rained so they stood under a tarp for two hours waiting for the rain to stop. They swept the street as dry as they could, put down rugs or whatever they had. The whole street was covered with people side by side and head to toe. Once they laid down, Tali realized that next to her head was the sewer that ran in the open, full of trash and fecel matter. Most people, including underage children, drink alcohol to fall asleep. But once you finally fall asleep, you only have a few hours until you need to get up because the traffic starts again." and I look at how we prep our dead with the finest clothes, put the nicest make up on them, and fix their hair so they are looking their very best and as I see pictures of the dead piled up in Haiti I am reminded how our lifeless bodies without the Holy Spirit is just as useless as the trash piled up along the streets. As I see a photo of a child killed by the tragic earthquake I come to the realization that I did absolutly nothing that kept me from being that child. God showed me mercy and I have the responsiblity to help those in need. I am a servant of Christ. One of my favorite quotes states "Lord help me to great things as though they were little, since I do them with your power, and little things as though they were great, since I do them in your name." This is my prayer.